8 Signs That Your Vagina Is Loose

Is my vagina loose? Yikes! Some questions are super embarrassing, but also super important at the same time. It’s like it’s some sort of a question paradox - too taboo to ask, and yet too important not to know! I mean, we’ve all asked ourselves these questions, but had no one to ask or answer them. Why is my vagina loose? Well, is it? How to tell whether your vagina is loose? I mean, how does one go about figuring that out exactly? And yet, we have all asked ourselves these questions and we still don’t know squat. Sigh.

That’s why we’re here today. You have all these hard, embarrassing questions? We’re here to answer them. There are tons of popular myths and beliefs about vaginas, their looseness and tightness, and just a huge amount of ignorance around the mystery of how vaginas work. Despite all the myths, things are not black and white, and the truth is somewhere in the middle.

Is A Loose Vagina Even A Real Thing?

So, can vaginas get loose? Contrary to the very popular belief that they can’t, the answer is yes. Vaginas can absolutely become loose. At some point in their life, many women around the world will suffer from having a loose vagina, for various reasons. The most common reason by far has to do with childbirth - or experiencing several of those. While muscles are built to expand and contract, prolonged and repeated expansion (such as in the case of giving birth) can induce some damage in the tissue. This damage is, of course, repaired later.

However, because the body stitches these micro-injuries and adds tissue where it was broken, the volume of the vaginal muscle and canal then become slightly larger, providing for a slightly more spacious cavity. Difficulty in tightening the muscles can also be experienced later in life. Of course, this depends on the severity of the childbirth itself. While many women experience no such thing, some of them experience a number of injuries in the form of tears, ruptures and so on.

Our bodies are not unchanging, constant things - they’re living organisms, which change and modify themselves depending on what we put them through.

So, yes, vaginas can get loose.

Breaking The Stigma Around Vaginal Looseness

And yet, while it is a relatively common phenomenon (that’s why we all keep asking ourselves these questions, shhh), it is grossly neglected and often intentionally shunned issue. After all, who would want to risk embarrassment? A loose vagina is too often associated with promiscuous life, and while that is not true, there is a stigma that persists.

Which is not to say that experiencing these sorts of problems down there will not bring any changes to your sex life (more on that later). This is a complicated problem, and anything that has to do with our genitalia can impact us in other ways as well. Needless to say that having a loose vagina isn’t just a physical problem - it can cause psychological issues as well. For some, it’s a few kinks in their sex life, but for others, it can cause severe distress, lack of self-esteem, excessive shyness and even intense social anxiety. Not to mention that these worries get piled onto all the insecurities that we already have. Male, female or anything in between, when you have a problem with your genitals, your insecurities will just become intensified.

So, before you hear your boyfriend or husband (or female partner, hey) utter the dreaded words of “you’re too loose down there”, let’s learn more about how to tell if your vagina is loose, or getting there. Now, sure, self-diagnosing yourself over the internet is almost never a good idea, but in this case, you have pretty concrete clues to base your conclusions on. After all, your body - and your vagina - stand ready. They are at your complete disposal to touch around, contract or release and check how things feel down there. Without further ado, here are the 8 signs that your vagina is loose.

Urine Leakage, Or Peeing Yourself, Can Indicate A Loose Vagina

The technical term is stress incontinence. What that means, in layman terms, is the following: the body has grown weak, and can’t control itself in some areas. In the case of urine leakage or stress incontinence, the muscles that control how, and when you pee, have grown weak. These muscles usually envelop the bladder, providing support to it and controlling when to let your urine pass, and when to keep it in.

But why is it called stress incontinence and what does it have with a loose vagina? Well, what the doctors call stress in this context is actually any sort of activity or bodily change that can induce stress to the bladder. Basically, whenever you do something that disturbs your bladder, urine will start leaking out. This happens because your muscles are asleep or too weak to control what’s going on.

A number of activities can cause this to happen. Typically, these are all more physically intensive activities, such as running, lifting heavy objects, jumping and so on. But fairly innocuous activities can cause stress incontinence too. Have you ever, um, farted, or gotten a bit of pee out after you had a powerful sneeze? Or after you laughed your butt off? See, everything we do involves a set of complex motions inside our bodies, at times involving hundreds of muscles of all sizes. The difference is that for people with urinary leakage, this is the norm. They can pee themselves every time they experience a forceful sneeze or intense laughter. Not good, right? Right.

Since our bladders are connected with our genitalia, it affects the other muscle groups as well. As women age, the muscles of the pelvic floor weaken, which can also lead to urinary leakage. This is usually the result of having gone through the menopause due to lower estrogen levels. Changes due to natural aging, combined with injuries to the urethra, or pelvic surgery, obesity, UTIs, and frequent coughing or childbirth can all contribute to a variety of muscle weaknesses. And what is a loose vagina? That’s right… Muscle weakness. So, if you are experiencing stress incontinence, this might dovetail with having a loose vagina.  

Urinary Urgency, Or When You Just Have To Pee!

Right! We’ve all been there and now I’m beginning to have second thoughts about the tightness of my vajayjay! I mean, it feels pretty tight… I mean, just about the normal amount. But anyway, enough about me!

Yes, sometimes we all have to go pee really really bad. But, I underline - sometimes. However, if these uncontrollable urges to go pee are happening too much or becoming too frequent, you might just be experiencing stress incontinence. Or the beginnings of it. Not being able to control your bladder, which controls when you pee or not, is a sign that your pelvic floor muscles are getting a bit loose. That, in turn, can lead to the loosening up of your vaginal muscles as well, making your vagina get loose. Needless to say, those muscles could benefit from some exercises and tightening up.

But What If You Can’t Tighten Your Vagina Muscles?

Another feeling all of us know very well. Okay, that men know too, thanks to a woman flexing her muscles at them (if you know what I mean).

Contracting your vaginal muscles should be… Effective. It should not be the opposite of that. Come on, do an exercise right now and test the functionality of your vaginal muscles.

Contract… then hold… then release.

Whew! How did it go? If it worked as intended, then great - your vaginal muscles are strong, healthy and vital. No one will be telling you that your vagina is loose any time soon!

However, if you had problems contracting your vaginal muscles, that can be a sign that they have become weaker. Of course, some faltering when trying to contract muscles deep inside your body is bound to be expected. But if you found it especially difficult, or completely failed to contract the muscles of your vagina, then it’s time to call Houston, because we have a problem!

But wait, how should one determine what level of vaginal muscle contraction is enough, and what isn’t? Is there such a thing as optimal tightness? What constitutes a vaginal looseness, anyways?

Well, it turns out that there is, and we can measure it. And it’s basically a rule of thumb… And a pretty literal one at that, because it involves actual fingers.

Here’s how you can gauge the level of your vaginal tightness. Take your index finger and slide it inside your vagina. Now push - I mean - try to contract your vaginal muscles. Done? Do you feel anything at all, even? If not, that’s bad news. Upon contracting your vaginal muscles, the vagina should close up around the finger that you inserted inside it. You should feel a squeeze on your finger, and it shouldn’t feel loose or lacking energy, but there should be a certain tightness. If it’s anything but tight… Congratulations, it’s another sign of your vagina getting loose, thanks to the weakening of its muscles.  

Weak, Or A Completely Absent Vaginal Resistance

Vaginal resistance, huh. What a phrase!

I keep thinking about the Resistance in Star Wars, and trying to imagine what it would look like if it wasn’t just an ordinary Resistance... But, you know, a Vaginal Resistance. Man, picture that. That would surely change the events in Star Wars A LOT! And, I dare say, change it in some pretty meaningful and awesome ways! A Star Wars movie in which Darth Vader is challenged by the Vaginal Resistance is something I would pay good money to see, thank you!

But enough of these images in my head. Let’s go back to the actual issue at hand (oh God, the puns!). Vaginal resistance isn’t connected to Star Wars in any way! It’s about the, hmm, tonus, the firmness of your vaginal walls when your Virginia is at ease. Still not getting it?

Here’s how you will know, first-hand, what vaginal resistance is. In order for anything to experience resistance, you see, it first needs to do something or progress in a certain direction. In the laws of physics, this is known as Newton’s Third Law of motion. The law of action and reaction.

So, if you want to feel, and get a handful of your vaginal resistance, what you need to do first is put something inside it. In order to better measure the resistance your vagina will offer to this intrusion, it is best to penetrate yourself with yourself. And by this I mean, putting some fingers inside you. At least three of them. And make sure they’re clean!

Okay, ready?

Put three fingers inside your vagina.

Keep them inside for a while, and try to tell if you feel any resistance from the vaginal walls. Is there some tightness around your fingers? Try to wiggle your fingers a bit - how do your vaginal walls behave? Do they just loosely cave in to the pressure from your fingers, or offer some (dun-dun-duuunnn!) vaginal resistance?

See, a healthy vagina should offer some resistance to stuff filling it up. Vaginas are remarkably flexible organs, that’s why giving birth to babies is actually possible. However, while vaginas are able to expand to orders of magnitude in relation to their initial size, a complete lack of vaginal resistance is worrying. It’s not that vaginal muscles aren’t flexible - they are. But each muscle possesses a so-called property that the doctors called muscle tonus (or tone, or tension). A muscle’s tonus is the continuous, passive, and partial contraction of the muscles and the muscle's resistance to passive stretching during resting state. (See that? Resistance again.)

Let me illustrate this concept for you. I invite you to do the following: wash your hands, then open your mouth and put a finger on your tongue. Try to press on it gently, even push it a bit. You will feel some sort of tightness of the tongue, like a vibration. Your tongue may even reflexively push back against the finger. What the tongue is doing there, as in, the tongue’s firmness and unwillingness to be displaced effortlessly, is exercising its muscle tonus.

All muscles in the human body have this property, the vaginal muscles included. That’s why the test with the three fingers can be especially helpful when trying to ascertain if you’re experiencing vaginal looseness. The firmer the feeling of your vaginal walls, the better. If there seems to be a complete lack of vaginal resistance, however, I would encourage you to discuss it with your doctor.

Can’t Remember The Last Time You Had An Orgasm?

Struggling to orgasm? It may be due to looseness down there.

So, remember vaginal resistance and muscle tonus? In order for you to feel sensations from… Well, any part of your body, that part of your body needs to be functional and not just retreat back whenever something comes into contact with it. However, that’s precisely the case with vaginal looseness. If you recall, vaginal resistance is the product of the muscle tonus of the vaginal muscles. The vaginal muscles, in turn, are what creates the vaginal walls and gives shape and structure to the vaginal canal (or, in simpler words, your vagina itself). So, if the vaginal muscles are weak or loose… Your vagina will be too.

And if you have a loose vagina, guess what? You’ll have a hard time feeling anything much down there, or inside of you. I mean, sure, you won’t be completely numb, but let’s face it - those loose vaginal walls won’t help you feel that D all that well. And the D won’t be very happy when it doesn’t have much to push against. And it doesn’t have to be the D itself; it can be your sex toys, your fingers, your lover’s fingers… And so on. Simply put, if the vaginal walls are loose, due to muscle weakness, the amount of stimulation your body will be able to derive from sexual intercourse will be diminished.

So, what gives?

As the popular saying for depression goes, “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”

Just replace depression with “a loose vagina” and it works pretty well. Make sure that your partner isn’t just an entitled d*ck who, due to his own sexual problems or a lack of sensitivity, decides to blame it all on you and your gorgeous vagina for some reason.

But if this is someone you trust and value, and who just isn’t prone to nasty behavior, you can check for yourself. If you need to test his claims of vaginal looseness, do the experiments for vaginal resistance that I outlined in the previous section.

It’s super easy - here’s experiment number one. Just put your index finger inside your vag and try to contract your vaginal muscles around it. Is there a squeeze around your finger? Is the vagina clasping it tightly? If yes, good. If not… Maybe give some credence for the claims.

The next test is about vaginal resistance. Try to put several fingers inside your vagina, ideally, this test requires three. But depending on your vaginal size, and the size of your fingers, you can modify the number of fingers. Sometimes, even 2 will do, but some women will have to insert 4 - you get the idea. Okay then.

So, place several fingers in your vagina, and try to gauge how taut and tight the vaginal walls feel. Is there some slight pushback, some firmness to them? If yes, then good. If not, how loose do the walls feel? Do they react at all? If not… The claim that your vagina may have become loose suddenly appear more valid.

Combine that with the inability to orgasm, and, well. Schedule a visit to your doctor and gynecologist. Diagnosing yourself over the internet can only go so far and offer very little help. Experiencing muscular weakness, anywhere around the body, is not to be trifled with. Your doctor and gynecologist can tell you exactly what the problem is, as well as how to counter it and fix it.

It is, after all, for your own good. This is your health we are talking about, and at the end of the day - your ability to experience sexual pleasure. Loving oneself includes taking good care of our reproductive organs as well, and tending to them so they can heal when they are injured. There is no shame in loving yourself and being a responsible, kind steward to your body. It’s a temple that your consciousness, your being resides in. Treat it well and it will return the kindness.

Unable To Feel Pleasure From Small And Medium-Sized Objects

Ahem. Did I mention sex toys and fingers above? Yes, Sir, I did! I also, however, mentioned the two finger tests to gauge your vaginal tightness. But what if you passed the tests, but you just can’t feel pleasure from insertions?

You know what I’m talking about. And this concerns your health and well-being, so let’s drop the pretense at appropriateness and cut right to the chase.

Women can sometimes use sex toys for masturbation. Yes, yes, some men do, too, but let’s focus on female pleasure and vagina problems for now. Vibrators, dildos, even household items like markers, pens or even the grips of hair brushes and toothbrushes can make handy sex toys. And don’t get me started on bananas, carrots, cucumbers and tons of other fruits and vegetables.

So you’ve been giving your vagina lots of love with these handy substitutions for an actual penis… But you’ve noticed a distinct lack of pleasure over a period of time. Hmmm. What’s up with that, you wonder?

Suddenly, size seems to matter. A lot.

So you grab a bigger banana. A thicker cucumber. A bigger sex toy. And it feels good. So good… For a while. Then you get accustomed to the sensations, and grab an even bigger plant, like maybe a super thick eggplant, or a baseball bat or one of those sex toys modeled after a horse’s peener! Or an alien’s… Arm? Leg? Tentacle? Who the hell knows, just put it inside! (Hey, no kink shaming!)

But see, there is a problem. This escalation of size doesn’t really end. If you don’t believe me, just click over to your favorite porn site, and see what women (and men, duh) are capable of accommodating inside themselves. It’s kinda amazing. And gross. But also exciting. So a word of warning: click carefully, because the experience might change you forever! And give you some nightmares, even.

But I mentioned the problem. This is how it goes - a woman experiences some vaginal looseness and loses some sensitivity down there. Instead of perhaps having “the talk” with her partner, doctor or gynecologist, she’ll just use a bigger sex toy or a bigger object. Which will, in turn, stretch out her already weakened or loose vaginal muscles even more.

Remember - vaginas don’t stretch or get loose by having lots of sex. However, they do increase their stretching capacity and can become loose if you keep inserting larger and larger objects inside. If you often masturbate with large toys, it doesn’t mean that your vagina will turn into a loose, shapeless pit. Vaginal muscles stretch… and then contract back. But, if the stretching was too intense, or too prolonged, it can cause injuries and stress to the muscles. The muscles then add more tissue to repair these injuries. Which increases the overall size of the vaginal muscles, which makes it less taut, which can produce a feeling of looseness, or spaciousness down there.

So the less pleasure you feel, the bigger objects you will need to compensate for that, which will, in turn, only make it more difficult to feel pleasure, and will need an even bigger object… You get the idea. It’s like a self-reinforcing loop of, uh, vaginal stretching. And making yourself more and more desensitized.

I mean, if you simulate giving birth several times a week… It’s only logical that your body will try to adapt and accommodate that reality. So if you need a baby-sized object to pass through your vagina in order to feel pleasure, guess what? That carrot isn’t doing the trick anymore. Your fingers don’t do much. And your partner’s penis? Well. He better… Um… Use another body part. (Wink.)

But in all seriousness - if you begin feeling a lack of pleasure or sensation down there, it might be a symptom of vaginal looseness. As we said, there can be many factors for that to happen. It might be age, it might be some sort of injury or dysfunction. A loose vagina does not mean - I repeat - that a woman is promiscuous or has lots of sex. It does, however, indicate health problems, muscular weakness, and in some cases - problems of a sexual nature.

Overall Decrease, Or Even A Complete Lack Of Sexual Pleasure

Man, this is even scarier than not being able to get off from carrots and cucumbers and stuff. Imagine, if you will, trying to masturbate and feeling absolutely nothing. or feeling very little. While occasionally that’s pretty normal (let’s say you’re super drunk, or you’re just in a terrible mood and doing it for stress relief) if it becomes persistent or repetitive…

That could be due to a loose vagina, yes.

But I would suggest that’s not such a bad scenario. If one feels nothing down there, chances are they have problems that are much, much worse and more serious than a loose vagina. Sure, getting your mountain lioness to be tighter is a great idea, but overall insensitivity or desensitization can point out to a number of other health problems as well. And they can be from all sorts of types. It can be a physical injury, it can be a chronic condition, it can be some nerve damage, it can even be due to psychological causes. You don’t know, and I don’t know either. But I know someone who does - your doctor and gynecologist. If you are experiencing a complete lack of stimulation or sensation in your vagina, or heck, any body part - schedule a visit to your doctor immediately.

Sex Is Great, But What If Your Vagina Doesn’t Close Up?

This is yet another of those things that we don’t really talk about. But we’ve all been there, especially when the sex is mind-blowingly good. You’re so aroused that your vagina just can’t stop itself - it stands open, yearning for more. It’s in those moments when even your partner makes an excited remark, and you both feel ecstatic and great and get it on.

However, that’s perhaps the only time that a vagina is supposed to be that open. Colloquially known as a “gaping vagina,” it’s a natural phase during intercourse or intense arousal that has a specific purpose. The purpose of this opening of the vagina is, of course, to let in whatever needs to be let in in order to give your vagina all that sweet, good, hard love!

But, and there is always the but - if you’re feeling that you might be a tad too open, or that there is difficulty about your vagina closing up after sex… That may very well be a sign that you are experiencing vaginal looseness.

Of course, it may all be temporary, or the cause for your specific case of “open vagina” may be something else, unrelated to muscular weakness. But do you have a loose vagina, or is it something else? That’s definitely not a question for me, but for your doctor and gynecologist. If you feel like Mount Doom down there, constantly open and spewing out hot air, your best bet is to schedule a visit to your doctor. Maybe you’ll find a way to throw the One Ring inside it and make it shut forever. Think of yourself as Frodo, and of your doctor, or gynecologist as Sam. Together, you can do it. Mount Doom ain’t got shit on you.

So, Is My Vagina Loose?

I don’t know. I kinda checked but I’m still not so sure yet. Feels pretty tight sometimes - oh! Right. That wasn’t a question for me, I apologize!

So, is your vagina loose? Well, I sure as hell don’t know. But I wrote this badass long ass article trying to inform you on the various ways you could decide that for yourself. Remember, your vagina can’t get loose from having sex, buuuut.

There’s also that but. It can get loose, or looser, through childbirth, or inserting ever and ever larger objects. Other factors include associated muscle weaknesses in the genital area - like for example, the muscles around your bladder. If they get weak, injured or damaged, you will have problems peeing, and it can affect your vaginal muscles as well, adding a sense of looseness down there.

There are many signs that may point to a loose vagina. Besides urinary leakage, i.e. incontinence (having no control over when you pee), there is also the factor of urinary urgency. Urinary urgency, as the name might tell you, is when you just can’t procrastinate that peeing task of yours anymore. The body just has to go. You just have to pee! That, combined with finding it difficult to control when you want to pee and when not, is a definite sign that may point to the problem of vaginal looseness.

Next, we talked about the ability of your vaginal muscles to tighten on command, and the role vaginal resistance plays in providing your vagina with structure, sensation, and tightness. As they say, trust but verify, so let me reiterate here, once again, how you can check the state of your vaginal muscles. There are two tests you can perform with the help of your nice little fingers.

Test A checks of the function of the vaginal muscles. It is when you put a finger inside your pussycat (not the animal, the vagina!) and try to flex your vaginal muscles. It can be any finger you wish, but the index finger should be enough to get the job done. Slide it in your vagina and squeeze! If your vagina clasps around your finger tightly, then it’s all good - you have a healthy vagina with perfectly functional vaginal muscles. (It might be a problem if it squeezes your finger too hard, though. Careful there, you never know. A broken finger isn’t something you need right now, I’m sure of that.)

Test B checks the muscle tonus (tone, or tension) of your vaginal muscles. These muscles make up the walls of your vaginal canal, and it’s super important for them to have a certain level of firmness. This firmness helps the muscles keep your vagina, well… vagina-ey, and their muscle tonus is what keeps it taut and in a certain shape. The presence of a healthy level of muscle tonus (resistance, firmness) of your vaginal walls indicates a lack of looseness and vice versa. If there is a lack of any firmness, then you may be dealing with a loose vagina.

So, how to test this. Take not one, but several fingers this time. Let’s say three fingers. Place them inside your vagina and concentrate your mind on non-sexual things for a moment. You can get off later, we’re doing science now. Okay, so, with your fingers inside, try to gauge how the walls feel. Are they soft and yielding? They should be, but only some. Are they structured? Is there a certain level of tightness and firmness to the interior walls of your vagina?

Wiggle the fingers a bit and try squeezing against the vaginal walls. Depending on how your vaginal walls feel and behave, you’ll be able to gauge how tight or loose you are. If your fingers encounter little to no resistance, well… I have bad news for you. That would be a pretty loose vagina. However, if your fingers encounter resistance from your vagina’s castle walls, it’s all good in the Kingdom of Denmark then. (I really need to lay off the Tolkien and Shakespeare.)

And then we have the whole sexual aspect. Problems or lack of pleasure down there may indicate a loose vagina. There are several separate signs that may point to this being the case.

The first is an inability to feel stimulated or achieve an orgasm. Of course, this is a fairly normal thing to experience, but only occasionally. But if it happens every time? No Sir, we definitely have a problem on our hands then. Besides indicating a loose vagina, the inability to achieve an orgasm or derive sexual pleasure may even indicate a number of other health problems or conditions. And not just physical, but mental as well. Your doctor’s number? Ring it.

The next symptom might be a weird one, but it’s definitely connected with vaginal looseness. Upon losing some ability to feel pleasure from using your usual sexual toys, you would naturally want to change it up a bit and… Escalate. So one small toy leads to another, medium-sized one. After a while, that medium-sized alien tentacle thing doesn’t do the trick anymore. So you reach out for the massive Khal Drogo stallion. Great. And after a whiiileee… You feel the sudden, odd urge to rewatch King Kong. I mean, pun intended, but we all know where that’s going. So what happened?

Well, you managed to stretch your vagina and increase her appetites by giving her bigger and bigger things to eat. It’s like any other habit really - the more you do a thing, the less you need to try, the less you feel it. So there’s a parallel process of desensitization going on, along with a progressive stretching (enlargement) of your vaginal muscles. That may not necessarily make you loose (if your muscles are healthy you can still contract them), but it may cause lack of pleasure because, well…

Your vagina got looser than usual. But no worries - that can be changed too - with a change in your habits.

And the final sign? Well, how about when your vagina got so stretched, or so loose, that it won’t shut anymore? A nightmarish scenario, huh. I’m sure there are women out there who like their vaginas super stretched, loose and gaping. And that they love their extreme ways of going about their sexual pleasure. But to each their own - not everyone is a professional vagina stretching athlete, and a lot of us would like our vaginas to remain somewhat tight after all. It’s perfectly normal if your vagina is wide open if you’re horny as shit and you’re in the middle of some savagely good sex, but otherwise? Call your gynecologist, sweetie.

Well there it is. I hope this article will be helpful. Remember, treat your body well and with wisdom and - trust but verify.

This information is meant to supplement, not replace advice from your doctor or healthcare provider and is not meant to cover all possible uses, precautions, interactions or adverse effects. This information may not fit your specific health circumstances, and its goal is to offer a general view of the subject. In case you are suffering from a severe case of acne, you should consult with a dermatologist or a certified medical professional.